This week’s parsha (weekly Torah portions) is called Chayei Sarah.  The irony of the name is that the parsha begins with Sarah’s death.  It then tells how Abraham bought the cave in which he buried her (and he himself is buried along with a few other folk) which is in Hebron.

After Abraham buries Sarah, he makes his servant Eliezer swear an oath to find a wife for Yitzhak (Isaac) from his family back where Abraham was born.  Eliezer (whose name means, “My god/power, help”) goes and finds Rivka (Rebecca) at a well.  She takes him to her house and after hearing Eliezer’s story, the family agrees to the marriage and Rivka goes back with Eliezer.

As they get back, they see Yitzhak.  He had just come back from the Well-of-living-sight, and was meditating when he saw them coming.  Yitzhak marries Rivkah and then we hear of Abraham taking another wife named Ketura, who gives birth to several children.  Abraham gives gifts to these children, and sends them east.  Then we hear of Abraham passing away, old and satiated, and we read that Yitzhak and Yishma’el bury Abraham in the cave with Sarah.

The parsha ends with haShem (god) blessing Yitzhak and a listing of Yishma’el’s children and the death of Yishma’el.

Last year, I wrote on the beginning of the parsha, specifically,  the meaning of the name of the cave Abraham bought (it is called Macpelah which means double).  This year what is striking me is the end of the parsha.  How strange is it that the parsha should end with the death of Abraham, the blessing of Yitzhak, and then the children and death of Yishma’el.  More to the point, why is Yishma’el even talked about at all?

One answer to this question is because his children play a role in the events later on in the Torah.  However, the Torah could just as easily mentioned the genealogy when those offspring come into the picture.

Another answer comes to mind when one looks back into the parsha just a little bit more.  Let’s go back and start with Rivka’s arrival.  Better yet, let’s look at what the Torah says Yitzhak was doing while Eliezer was finding Rivka.

The Torah says that when Rivka arrived, Yitzhak had just come from the well L’chai ro-eh.  This happens to be the same place that Hagar went when she ran away from Sarah the first time.  In fact, she names the place.

Why does Yitzhak go there?   Perhaps this is where Hagar and Yishma’el are.  After all, it is a place in the wilderness that Hagar is familiar with, and the parsha from two weeks ago says that Yishma’el lived in the wilderness.

I think that Yitzhak went there, now that his mother had died, to patch up things between himself and Hagar and Yishma’el.  In Hebrew, the word I would use would be tshuvah which means to turn.  And I think he was successful.  Why?  Because Abraham was satisfied when he died.  Why was he satisfied?  Because he loved Yishma’el and didn’t want to send him away.  He was satisfied because he had both Yitzhak and Yishma’el together and living with him when he died.

I say this because they were both there to bury Abraham.  I also think this is why we hear of the children of Yishma’el:  because he is back in the fold, so to speak, of the most important family in the Torah.  And because he is part of that family, we need to know who is children are and how old he was when he died, and that he was gathered to his people.  It is interesting that the Torah uses that phrase here (he was gathered to his people), because we see it whenever a beloved person dies in the Torah:  for Abraham, Aaron, and Moshe, just to name a few.

“All this is very interesting, ” I hear you say, “But so what?  What relevance does any of this have?”  I am glad you asked.  The beauty of what Yitzhak did is not that he did it, but when he did it.

You see, Yitzhak was only 2 when Yishma’el and Hagar were sent away.  And that was at least 35 years ago.  I say that because Sarah was 90 when she had Yitzhak and she died at the age of 127.  I don’t know about any of you, but I find it hard to try to make up with somebody after 6 months or a year go by.  Can you imagine, after 35 years, going to somebody and trying to repair a broken relationship.  That is amazing fortitude that Yitzhak had.  And on top of that, he wasn’t even the one who messed up the relationship in the first place.  Yet, he was willing to take the first step in bringing reconciliation.

Wow!  If he can do that after 35 years and not being in the wrong, why can’t we, his descendants reach out to someone we might have hurt less than 35 years ago, and try to mend things.  Or even reach out to someone we haven’t hurt less than 35 years ago.

If you want to read what I wrote about this parsha last year, click here.

About the Author

Shmuel Shalom Cohen spent 10 years studying Torah in Jerusalem. Six years ago, he started Conscious Torah to help Jews connect to their tradition in ways they didn’t think possible. Shmuel also started, and is the executive directory of Jewish Events Willamette-valley, a non-profit whose mission is to build Jewish community, pride, and learning. In his free time, Shmuel likes walks in nature, playing music, writing poetry, and time with good friends.