The reason I decided to put, “Let’s talk Torah,” in the title is because the parsha (Torah portion of the week) is all about talking. Yehuda (Judah) tells Yoseph (Joseph) his side of the story of how they got into the predicament they are now in. Yoseph tells his brothers how he came to be running things in Egypt, the brothers tell Yaakov (Jacob) that Yoseph is still alive, Pharaoh tells Yoseph to send wagons for his family, the family of Yaakov tells Pharaoh that they are and have been shepherds. The parsha is almost all talk.
Why do people talk? Many talk to fill empty space or because they like the sound of their own voice. Most people, however, talk because they are trying to communicate something to another person. This is what is going on in this parsha. The parsha starts out with the the brothers in big trouble. Yehuda had promised his dad that Benyamin (Benjamin) would be returned safely. However, Benyamin was framed for theft and Yoseph wants to keep him as a slave. There are lots of things that Yehuda could do at this point: he could run away, he could make up a story to tell Yaakov similar to the one he told him concerning Yoseph, he could try to steal Benyamin away from Yoseph. I’m sure you-all can think of some options I’ve missed.
What he chooses to do instead is to tell Yoseph what his situation is, and a way that would be better for him that wouldn’t hurt Yoseph: a win-win type of situation. It is important that he first tell Yoseph where is is coming from so that Yoseph can understand why it is so important to him that Benyamin be set free and sent back to his father. If he leaves that part out, his request would not make much sense to Yoseph, and likely would not have been granted. By giving Yoseph background and context, Yoseph can now understand that the request is coming from a Yehuda who cares more for his father and his family than for himself. The result of this understanding is that Yoseph now knows that at least Yehuda has repented for selling Yoseph, and not only grants Yehuda’s request, but also reveals himself to his brothers and invites them all to live on the best land in Egypt. This is the power of communication: The family being re-united and the joy of Yaakov seeing his favorite son Yoseph alive would never have happened if Yehuda had kept his mouth shut.
This is not the only place where we see communication in the parsha. One of the more troubling places, in regards to communication, is towards the end of the parsha. When the family arrives, Yoseph tells them that when they meet Pharaoh, he will ask them what they do and they are to reply that they are shepherds. This seems like a strange thing to tell them to say because they are shepherds. Yoseph is making a point of telling them to tell Pharaoh the truth. What a strange thing to emphasize. Why does Yoseph feel he needs to remind his family to be honest?
The answer to that comes from human nature. How many times have you, or someone you know, tried to impress somebody by exaggerating or pretending to be something that you/they were not? It might have been at a job interview where you/they mentioned that you/they had more experience than you/they did in something. Or maybe it was to impress a member of the opposite sex that the exaggeration or tall tale comes out. The bottom line is that it is easy to justify a, “White,” lie to somebody you want to impress. And who would not want to impress the leader of the mightiest nation on earth who has just saved that person from starvation? The temptation to say you could do whatever you thought this leader might want you to do would be very great. Yoseph recognizes this, and so he warns his family not to fall into that temptation, that the best thing to do is to be honest and truthful.
And this is exactly what this parsha is trying to remind us: in all our dealings, we need to be honest and straightforward, and when we are having a conflict with somebody, we need to let them know the truth of where we are coming from so that they can understand and participate in finding a solution that works for us.
As usual, I look forward to any honest comments you have, good or bad. And I wish you all a week of good, open, honest communications that leads to increased love in your lives and brings mutually satisfactory resolutions to any disagreements you might be having with people in your life.
About the Author
Shmuel Shalom Cohen spent 10 years studying Torah in Jerusalem. Six years ago, he started Conscious Torah to help Jews connect to their tradition in ways they didn’t think possible. Shmuel also started, and is the executive directory of Jewish Events Willamette-valley, a non-profit whose mission is to build Jewish community, pride, and learning. In his free time, Shmuel likes walks in nature, playing music, writing poetry, and time with good friends.