It’s time to get out!

Well, it is for Yaakov (Jacob).  That is according to how this week’s parsha (Torah portion) begins.

The parsha is called Vayetze which means, “And he went out,” and is referring to Yaakov leaving on his trip to his uncle’s house.  On the way he dreams of a ladder with angels going up and down and haShem (god) standing over him and introducing himself to Yaakov.

After making a vow, Yaakov continues on his way and comes to a well with a rock over it’s opening.  Upon seeing Rachel, his cousin, he rolls the rock of the mouth of the well and kisses Rachel, starts to cry, and tells her he is her kinsman.  She runs to tell her father Lavan who welcomes him and offers him a job.  Yaakov accepts with Rachel being his wage.  Seven years go by and it is time for the wedding, and Yaakov is married to…

Rachel’s older sister Leah.

Turns out, Yaakov needs to work another seven years to get Rachel.

The Torah continues with the birth of 12 of the 13 children that Yaakov fathers, and how the children received their names.  After Rachel gives birth to Yoseph, Yaakov asks Lavan for permission to leave.  Lavan convinces Yaakov to stay on another 6 years so that Yaakov will have some wealth when he leaves.  It is during these six years that we read how Yaakov uses striped sticks to get the sheep to produce striped and speckled sheep which are his according to the deal he struck with Lavan.

When Yaakov saw that Lavan and his sons were not very happy with him, he figured it is time to leave.  So, he called to his wives and asked them and they both agreed, and on a day that Lavan was not around, he gathered his family and his possessions and headed out. Unbeknownst to him, Rachel had stolen her fathers idols.

Three days go by, and Lavan hears that Yaakov has left and Lavan takes off after him and catches up with him at mount Gilad.  Lavan confronts Yaakov about sneaking off and also about his missing idols.  Yaakov lets him search for the idols and they are not found.  This leads to Yaakov verbally laying into Lavan and the two of them wind up making a brit (covenant) to not do evil to each other.  Lavan goes home, and the parsha ends with Yaakov continuing on his way back home and meeting some angels of haShem.

Yaakov is sure having an up-and-down time in this parsha.  Starting with his dream and continuing with seeing Rachel, and then having married Leah instead, all the way to thinking he was away from Lavan, to suddenly having one final dealing with him.

Dealing with life’s ups and downs is just one theme that is in this parsha.  There is something else that struck me more.  Something that has to do with Rachel and Leah.

In this parsha, they both finally get that haShem is running the show.  What is interesting is the tool that haShem uses to teach them this lesson:  children.

For Rachel, it is like this:  She really wants children, but, in the beginning, she isn’t on a high enough level to have them.  Why do I say this?  Because she blames Yaakov for her not having children.  He turns around and tells her not to blame him, but to blame haShem.

In other words, Rachel is not having children because she does not see that haShem is the cause of everything in her life.  It is not until she realizes this, that she conceives and has Yoseph, whose names means, “To gather.”  She names him so because “God has gathered my shame/disgrace.”

What is her shame?  That she thought some outside PERSON (like Yaakov) was the reason for her lack of children.

Now, she realizes how disgraceful such a thought is.  She finally got that it was just her not really believing that haShem was in charge that was holding up her conceiving.  With this realization, she also felt shame for not fully accepting haShem was in charge.   Once she does surrender completely to all this, haShem gathers her shame and she becomes worthy of having children who will becomes tribes of Yisrael.

Leah’s situation is similar and opposite, and god’s way of getting her to surrender is also similar, yet opposite.  She understands that haShem is in charge, but she is more concerned about changing Yaakov than she is about accepting Yaakov as he is.

God’s way of getting to her is to give her children, the very thing that she things will change Yaakov’s perception of her, one after the other, until she finally sees that what a mere mortal (Yaakov) thinks is not so important compared to the gifts (her children) that haShem has given her.

Now where do I get all this from?  I get it from the naming of her children.  She starts of by naming the children with thoughts of Yaakov being with her:  Reuvan because god has seen that she is suffering and her child will make Yaakov love her.  Shimon because god has heard her that she is despised and this son will make Yaakov love her.  Levi because now certainly Yaakov will accompany her.  It is only with Yehuda (Judah) that she finally gets that god is where her focus should be, not on Yaakov, and so she names her fourth Yehuda to thank god for all he has done for her.

One more thing, which has to do with jealousy.  It is so easy to be envious that somebody is getting something and you aren’t.

What we learn from above is that sometimes not getting is really what you need because you aren’t ready for the gift.  If you got the gift, the treasure, it would be a waste at best, and a poison at worst because it would keep you from fully growing.  It is better to ask yourself, why am I not ready to receive such a gift, and how do I get myself ready.  Only then will you receive your treasure.  Only then will it be a true treasure to you.

Fun bonus thoughts:  Yaakov agreed to work seven years in order to marry Rachel, and the Torah tells us that it felt to him like a few days.

I heard a story that Einstein used a similar analogy to describe relativity.  When somebody asked him to explain it, he answered that relativity is like when a minute seems like an hour because  you are sitting on a hot stove, and an hour seems like a minute to two people in love.  From this we can see that the idea of Einstein’s theory of relativity is found inside our Torah. 🙂

I also saw something else.  This something else is to find something that makes you happy and use that as your reason for doing something.  If you are working for something you really want and really makes you happy, it is much easier to do and you do a better job and it feels like it took you no time to do it.  This is one of the secrets to success.

And I wish you all success, in everything you do, and may everybody prepare themselves for their ultimate treasures!

If you want to read what I wrote about this parsha last year, click here.

About the Author

Shmuel Shalom Cohen spent 10 years studying Torah in Jerusalem. Six years ago, he started Conscious Torah to help Jews connect to their tradition in ways they didn’t think possible. Shmuel also started, and is the executive directory of Jewish Events Willamette-valley, a non-profit whose mission is to build Jewish community, pride, and learning. In his free time, Shmuel likes walks in nature, playing music, writing poetry, and time with good friends.