This shabbat, we read the parsha (Torah portion) called Matot.  Matot is plural and has three meanings:    One meaning is staff.  Another is a tribe.  The third is downwards.  An example of this meaning is  l’matah means below.

This is why the Tanach (bible) is so hard to translate:  depending on which meaning you plug in, you get new levels of meaning and understanding.  If you don’t believe me, try plugging in the different meanings in the first pasuk (sentence) of this parsha:  And Moshe (Moses) spoke to the heads of the TRIBES, to the children of Yisrael saying this is the thing that haShem (god) commanded.

We then continue with a discussion of oaths.  After we learn about oaths, god tells Moshe to avenge the children of Yisrael from the Midianites, and after Moshe is to be gathered to his people.

Moshe commands each tribe to provide 1,000 soldiers.  With Pinchas (remember him from our last parsha?), they attack and wipe out the Midianites, capturing women and children, and animals, etc.  Moshe is not happy for it was the women who seduced the people, and they were not killed.  So,  Moshe orders the women to be killed.  The soldiers are then told not to forget to purify themselves and their clothes and leather, wool, and wooden objects.  Elazar, the priest, adds that the metallic vessels need to be purified and tells how to do it.  God then tells Moshe how to divide the plunder, and how much is to go to haShem (which are to be given to the priests, and the tribe of Levi).  We then get a detailed accounting of all the plunder, which is followed by the military officers want to give a gift to haShem because no solders were lost in the fighting.

Next, we read that the tribes of Gad and Reuven want to stay on the east side of the Jordan river because they have lots of animals and the land there is perfect for grazing.  Moshe expresses concern that they will abandon their brethren and not help them fight for the land promised to the tribes by haShem.  These 2 tribes promise that they will join the other tribes in taking the land, and only then cross back over to the east bank of the Jordan river.  Moshe also says that half of the tribe of Manasha will live east of the Jordan river.  We finally end with the 2 1/2 tribes building cities for the non-fighters, and pens for their animals (both of which will stay while the solders go and fight).

All in all, this is a rather strange parsha.  First off, why does the parsha start by telling us about oaths?  I was troubled by this until the end of the parsha, when the tribes of Reuven and Gad wish to stay on the east bank of the Jordan.  The parsha explains how serious an oath is (it gives us the power to create reality, just like god does – see what I wrote two years ago on this parsha), so we can appreciate the oaths that Reuven and Gad give to Moshe and the other tribes.

Speaking of Reuvan and Gad’s desire to stay on the east bank of the Jordan, I see a very important teaching that can easily be missed if one is not paying attention:  the importance of good, clear communication in relationships, and how to have good, clear communication.

So many times when we are in relationship, we argue and bicker because what one person wants, creates fear in the other person.  The second person, then, is often afraid to say he is afraid, or he might be too scared to even identify that he is afraid, or why he is afraid.  Instead, he lashes out at his partner and this causes her to react, and boom, we have a huge fight that has nothing to do with the feelings that caused the fight to begin with.

So, what do we have in our parsha?  We have Reuvan and Gad expressing their desires to stay, and not cross into the promised land.  This itself is a powerful lesson, for how often are we afraid to do that:  to express our desires, only to have that fear transform and hide behind resentment?  Yet, if we do not take the risk of rejection, and make our desires known, how can we expect others to know, and help us fulfill our desires?

Now, Moshe could have followed the script I described above, and called them evil and traitors and on and on, which would have made Reuven and Gad defensive and angry and resentful, and not likely to share their desires in the future.  Moshe does not do this.  Instead, Moshe says to them, “Wait a minute.  Your desire worries me.  I am afraid that you are not going to help the rest of us win the land, and we need you.  I am also scared that your desire to stay will discourage the others, just like the spies of 40 years ago discouraged the people.”

Once Reuven and Gad here Moshe’s concerns, they are able to assure Moshe that this was not their intention at all;  they, of course, would fight with the others, and only settle down to live when all of the children of Yisrael could settle down and live in peace.

What could have been a divisive misunderstanding is cleared up in no time at all, all because everybody was willing to express their desires and fears.  Imagine how nice the world would be, how much easier and deeper our relationships would be, how much more time and energy we would have, if we all learned this lesson on communication with others.

Before I finish this, I want to share one other idea that I heard from my friend Moshe Newman at his shabbat table a number of years ago.  I mentioned to him that I didn’t understand what god was trying to teach us when he wanted trumah (a type of offering) from the spoils of war.  Moshe gave a beautiful answer.

He explained that the root of the word trumah (rahm) means to raise up.  Now, in our family tradition, we believe that there are sparks of godliness in everything and that it is our job to raise those sparks back to their source – god.  So, what god is trying to teach us here is that there are even sparks of holiness in our enemies, and we need to recognize that and find a way to lift those sparks back up to haShem – to give god his trumah.

And it is with that final thought that I wish you all the strength to speak from the heart, as Reuven, Gad, and Moshe did, and also to remember that even those who might want to hurt you, have tiny sparks of godliness in them, and it is our job to bring out those sparks in all things and all people.

If you care to read what I wrote about this parsha last year, click here.

About the Author

Shmuel Shalom Cohen spent 10 years studying Torah in Jerusalem. Six years ago, he started Conscious Torah to help Jews connect to their tradition in ways they didn’t think possible. Shmuel also started, and is the executive directory of Jewish Events Willamette-valley, a non-profit whose mission is to build Jewish community, pride, and learning. In his free time, Shmuel likes walks in nature, playing music, writing poetry, and time with good friends.