This Shabbat we read the parsha (Torah portion) called Chaiye Sarah or the life of Sarah.  It is a very ironic name for the parsha considering that the parsha begins with her death.  Sarah dies and Avraham proceeds to buy a cave near Chevron to bury her.

After Avraham takes care of the business of burying Sarah, he starts to work on the next order of business:  getting Yitzhak (Isaac) married.  To this end, he sends his trusty servant Eliezer back to the place of his birth with lots of gifts and camels and servants.  When Eliezer gets there, he stands by the spring where the women come to draw water and prays to god to point out to him Yitzhak’s wife.

He hasn’t even finished his prayer  when Rivka appears and says and does all the things that Eliezer mentioned in his prayer (talk about maid-to-order :), and also offers him and his camels and his servants a place to spend the night.  Eliezer goes to her house and tells Rivka’s family how he came to be there, and of his prayer, and how Rivka fulfilled it.  He gives everyone gifts and asks them if Rivka will be Yitzhak’s wife.  After some discussion, they ask her and she says yes and she, with her nurse and other young women, goes back with Eliezer.  When they return, Yitzhak takes Rivka into Sarah’s tent and they are married and Yitzhak is consoled after his mother.

The very next verse tells us that Avraham then takes a wife named Kturah and has several children by her.  While Avraham gives everything he has to Yitzhak, he did give gifts to these children, and other children of Avraham’s other pelagshim (half-wives) and they are sent to the land of the east.

We then read that Avraham died and that both Yitzhak and Yishmael bury him next to Sarah in the cave that he bought near Chevron.  After this we read of Yishmael’s sons and how they were all princes and that Yishmael dies and is gathered to his people.  The parsha ends with a verse telling us where they settled.

This weekly missive started out with thoughts and ideas that came to me as I read the parsha in Hebrew, or with ideas that I heard over Shabbats past that I thought were really cool.  Later, I noticed I started seeing (and perhaps looking) for lessons on how to live life.  While I do appreciate the teachings our Torah has on personal and communal growth, I don’t want to stray too far from the idea of sharing interesting thoughts on the parsha that might not have a moral or show us how to live or improve ourselves or figure out what we are doing here.

I am saying this now because one of the things that really struck me as I was reading this parsha was Avraham’s negotiations for the cave to bury Sarah in.  At first glance, and what I had heard people say about this part of the parsha is that this was the negotiation and it is here so that the whole world will know that Avraham bought the land and perhaps also to give us a glimpse of the words and structure of how people negotiated back then.

As I was reading it, specifically when I read how Avraham specifically mentions the owner of the land, I suddenly started to question if this was the negotiation between the two men.

It seemed to me that these two men, Avraham and Ephron had met previously, and had already negotiated the deal for the land.  Now, in a time when there are no written documents, how does one go about proving you have bought something?  The only way is to have witnesses to the sale.  So, with the real negotiations over, they now got together in front of the community to formally buy/sell the cave.  And what we are really seeing is how a formal oral contract was done.

Does this change anything else I said that I had learned above?  No.  It is still being done to provide witnesses to validate the sale, and it also gives us an idea of how people did things back then.  It is only a slightly different idea of where we are in the negotiations.

Why do I write about it?  Because it is a shift in the way I looked at the passage, and perhaps looking at it from a slightly different point of viewing will help you to see more of the Torah in a new way, with new eyes.  It is a great way to keep a book you read every year new, exciting, and interesting.

That wasn’t the only thing that struck me.  I do have one other thing that is really asking, rather forcefully, to be shared.  I hesitate just a touch with this because it might be more than just an interesting tidbit.

The parsha starts out with Sarah’s death and the effort Avraham went to find a place to bury her.  As soon as he completes this task, he turns his attention to finding a wife for his son.  Once he has a wife, Yitzhak can stop mourning his mother’s death and Avraham get’s married again.  This is a very short version of what happened that, while it does not include the details, it also does not leave out any events in the process.

As I sat and thought about the parsha I was really struck by this progression.  What is going on here?  It seems to be saying that both Yitzkah and Avraham cannot conintue with their lives until Yitzhak gets married.

What does it mean?

Well, the first part is obvious.  One must take care of immediate needs first.  Sarah died and Avraham has to bury her as soon as possible.  It is something that cannot wait.

Great.  But what about the rest?

Well, the rest is more of the same.  A lot of people think that Judaism is a male centered tradition.

I disagree.  Sure there are times where the male does dominate and is most important.  However, there are also places where the female is dominant and most important.  And this is one of those times.

What has happened is not just that somebody died; what has happened is THE MATRIARCH died.  And nothing can continue until there is a new matriarch.  The new matriarch is to be Yitzhak’s wife.

Why is this necessary?  I will save that question for another day, for it is not in the scope of this discussion.  Besides, I don’t have an answer for that (except to point out that in the last few weeks, the Torah has been telling Avraham to listen and obey Sarah – see the last two Torah blogs for details :).   If anyone has ideas or thoughts on this question, please comment at the end of this post.

Getting back to idea at hand, we need a new matriarch.  This is the most important thing now that Sarah, the old matriarch has died and been buried.  The tribe cannot go on until there is a one.

So, Avraham sends his main man to find her.  Only after he brings her back, and she takes her place in the Tent of the Matriarch (Sarah’s tent) can life continue.  Yitzhak can move on past his mourning, and Avraham can continue his life and get married and live and die.

Ok, I do admit this has a small teaching which is to take care of immediate tasks before going on to important tasks that can wait, and only then moving on to the everyday things.  But it is much more.  It also shows us how important women are in our family tradition, something that many of us seem to lose sight of.

If you want to read what I wrote about this parsha last year, click here.

About the Author

Shmuel Shalom Cohen spent 10 years studying Torah in Jerusalem. Six years ago, he started Conscious Torah to help Jews connect to their tradition in ways they didn’t think possible. Shmuel also started, and is the executive directory of Jewish Events Willamette-valley, a non-profit whose mission is to build Jewish community, pride, and learning. In his free time, Shmuel likes walks in nature, playing music, writing poetry, and time with good friends.